


The Enemy Within

by Universeof7plus2plus1stars



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Banter, But like pretty mild hurt, Enthusiastic Aziraphale, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Light-Hearted, Post-Canon, Wave pools are demonic inventions, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), reluctant crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26406937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Universeof7plus2plus1stars/pseuds/Universeof7plus2plus1stars
Summary: Giving in to his angelic counterpart's persistent attempts at convincing him, Crowley finally agrees that they go to an aquatic park. Aziraphale learns something entirely unexpected.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 25





	The Enemy Within

**Author's Note:**

> The story behind this fic's creation is simple: I spent a day at an aquatic park, had a stroke of genius and realized that wave pools are definitely a demonic invention. Now, you might wonder why exactly did I go to an aquapark in September. Truth is, I went there during the summer, but it takes me impossibly long to finish anything, might that be this impossibly complex work. Also, the title possibly has... nothing to do with the fic, but I couldn't for the life of me come up with anything better. For the latter, I do apologize. Please enjoy!

Naturally, the idea emerged from the ever unpredictable mind of Aziraphale.

“Crowley?” he called across the room to the demon sprawled across the couch, playing on his phone - possibly a game of his own making, because he occasionally jumped up in frustration.

“Whut? M’listening.”

“It’s… kind of silly, I suppose.”

“Out with it” Crowley encouraged languidly, still not looking up.

“It’s just I saw this advertisement of… an aquatic park it’s called I believe--”

“No” Crowley replied, his glasses half-down, glaring at the angel. He wasn’t fast enough.

***

“Will you please just listen?” he begged with growing desperation to the demon striding in front of him, trying to flee from the conversation.

“Nope, nope” he answered, that at least signaled he could hear the angel, despite pushing his palms to his ears.

“Oh, stop pacing!” he exclaimed in fond exasperation. Crowley’s lanky legs definitely had their perks and he was getting tired of rushing after him. “You should have seen it! It honestly looked like so much fun! The people were all so happy!”

Crowley silenced the internal screaming taking over him along with the lingering question of since when did the angel care for specific activities that humans enjoyed, let alone calling them ‘fun’. There was a more important issue to address. He turned sharply on his heels, only lowering his hands to erupt in an expression supposed to convey his irritation.

“That’s because it’s an advertisement! The people are literally paid to look like they’re enjoying themselves!”

***

Of course, all of Crowley’s arguments were in vain. Once Aziraphale was convinced of something, there was absolutely no way of discouraging him. However, it was possible to alter the options so that they would at least graze "acceptable".

“No, NO, nope, no way you’re wearing  _ that _ !” Crowley shouted across the bookshop in absolute terror. Aziraphale stood in front of him with some uncertainty. He was wearing a white… whatever even WAS that?

“I really fail to see what’s wrong with it. I wore it to your trial, after all…”

“YOU WHAT” exclaimed the demon, not quite capable of forming a question. Aziraphale shook his head in disapproval.

“Oh, you can stop fretting. I did change the colour to black, so it fit very well into your aesthetic.”

Crowley spluttered. He felt plenty of things, including the content frustration of the fact that Aziraphale worried about his  _ aesthetic _ before voluntarily descending into the pits of Hell, but the question on the tip of his tongue was of an entirely different nature.

“Why didn’t you change your clothes?! I thought we agreed to change them!”

“And that we did. The nature of my undergarments hardly makes any difference!”

***

It took approximately 20 minutes to not so much convince Aziraphale, but make him change his mind. Though Crowley wouldn’t exactly admit, at first the aquapark exceeded his (otherwise pretty low) expectations,

While the angel bathed, he lunged by the pool, entertaining himself with m̶i̶l̶d̶l̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶c̶o̶n̶v̶e̶n̶i̶e̶n̶t̶ utterly evil demonic miracles. It made him smile when he saw that Aziraphale really was having fun, swimming around and only occasionally dedicating him a disapproving glance and performing one or two blessings to balance out the ever-vigilant forces of Hell.

After that, the angel got the idea that they should try out one of the waterslides. Crowley half-heartedly protested, but was surprised to discover that the thing was actually rather enjoyable. Aziraphale, on the other hand, arrived to the end of the slide with the incredulously offended expression and posture of someone who had just been picked up and thrown around by a proper tornado. Crowley gave him a few seconds to terrifiedly move about in his tube, unable to get off, but a demon can only handle so much annoyance.

“Need a hand, angel?” he asked in his best patronizing tone, grinning wildly and actually offering his right hand.

“Why, I can perfectly manage it without your help!” snapped the angel, now beginning to spin slightly.

“Are you sure?” Crowley continued, madly entertained and Aziraphale extended his leg carefully to prove that yes, in fact he  _ can _ manage to get off that pathetic device that humans dare call a useful invention. Except he miscalculated the stability of his corporation and quickly tumbled upside down, into the water.

“Everything all right?” Crowley all but shouted, unsure between anxious and amused, but soon deciding on the latter when his friend's head suddenly appeared above the surface.

He couldn't help but burst into a slightly evil fit of laughter at seeing the angel stomping forward angrily, most definitely soaked from head to toe. Once he got to the stairs, he stopped clumsily, inches away from slipping and falling.

“Could you lend me a hand now, please?” asked Aziraphale with pleading eyes, attempting to look innocent on top of upset. Crowley didn't lend a hand... and didn't stop laughing either.

“Nope. M'not stupid, you know.”

“I could certainly argue with that one” the angel muttered under his breath, passing beside him and already rushing away from the waterslides. Crowley bit back another grin and did his best to keep up.

***

Fortunately it didn’t take much more than three scoops of ice cream to make Aziraphale drop his grudge. Less than fortunately, he rapidly went back to his previous overexcited self.

“Look, Crowley! There’s a wave pool too! I don’t want to hear any of your complaints this time. Come on!” and he all but grabbed his friend’s hand and dragged him along the path.

“Aziraphale! Wait!” exclaimed the demon in panic, trying to stick to the ground.

“What is it this time? You’re suddenly allergic to getting wet?”

“Uhm no. Er. It’s just... it’s one of ours.”

The angel finally let go and spun on his heels. Crowley could barely stop himself from falling back from the lack of force pulling him. Aziraphale sighed and raised his hand to ready himself to rub at his temple.

  
  


“Can you please tell me what you are talking about?”

“I... kind of invented wave pools” answered Crowley, serious enough to even look regretful. 

If it hadn’t been about his friend, Aziraphale possibly would have been thoroughly perplexed. But it  _ was _ Crowley they were talking about.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked with a subtle headshake, already knowing the answer.

“I invented wave pools?”

Aziraphale looked up with the articulate expression of someone who has just been let down, left behind and double-crossed by the exact same person. Whether or not those verbs signifie the exact same act of betrayal.

“I heard you perfectly well the first time. But wave pools? What’s wrong with  _ wave pools? _ ”

“What’s wrong with them?  _ What’s wrong with them _ ?! Well, for one, they kill people! You go inside, standing so close to the others like a bloody concert, then SWOON! here come the waves, you get knocked over and BAM! you just drowned!”

“Surely, there’s no need to be so dramatic! How many people have died from wave pools?”

“Oh, I don’t know, don’t look at me like that! But you’d be  _ very _ surprised at the number of accidents, not even talking about the general irritation…” Crowley continued to argue with some well-deserved pride, but couldn’t finish the sentence, because once again he was being dragged in the wave pool’s direction.

The waves had just started and the pool was already crowded. An excited angel and a regretful demon found themselves a good standing spot and set in for enjoying the experience.

The waves were huge and unpredictable. Aziraphale soon realized the gravity of his mistake and held his head high so that the water wouldn’t get in his face. He turned right for just a moment to apologize to the woman he just bumped into, but before he could say anything, he heard the frightened scream of a very familiar voice…

“AZIRAPHALE!!”

The angel turned back immediately, only to get swatted in the face by a particularly powerful wave. He surfaced more than a touch angrily, snorting and spitting out the water that got into his mouth. Reflexively turning to his left to instruct his friend not to laugh, his eyes widened. In spite of how absurd it seemed, Crowley had disappeared. It only took him a fraction of a second to realize what had just happened.

“Help! Someone help!” he shouted over the sound of the waves.

After that, everything happened quickly. Thank Someone, one of the lifeguards noticed something was wrong, pulled a level and stopped the infernal waves. One of the youngsters standing around submerged and reappeared with a demon in his hands, furious even in his unconscious state, but very much alive.

***

“Hello there” greeted Aziraphale with his most genuine smile, sitting by the hospital bed currently belonging to a waking demon. Said demon lazily scratched his presumably aching head and hastily set on sitting up. Aziraphale jumped up from the chair and gently pushed him back.

“Don’t. Right now, you should rest.”

“‘Ngel? What happened?” asked Crowley confusedly, because Aziraphale’s voice made it clear that  _ something _ had happened.

The angel nervously rubbed his hands together, then looked up at him with a shy smile. Oh. It was something ridiculous. Nevertheless, he wanted an explanation, so he raised his eyebrows, hopefully communicating that he needed to know what happened. Aziraphale - wisely - sighed, before starting to speak very slowly.

“Let’s just say you had an unfortunate confrontation with… one of your demonic inventions” he finished lamely, but the aggressively raised eyebrows strongly suggested that wasn’t exactly detailed enough. “You got knocked over by a wave and got a concussion” he blurted out, waiting for the coin to drop.

“Hhhph?” Crowley most definitely didn’t squeal, because that would be awfully un-demonic.

“I’m afraid you heard me quite clearly. It’s important that you do not fret” the angel added helpfully, wishing he didn’t when he saw the sheer panic in his friend’s eyes, before he settled into an unsettling stillness.

“Let’s just… let’s not talk about this, like ever, okay?” the demon asked finally, staring up at the ceiling.

“As you wish” replied the angel with the vaguest hint of amusement. “I must admit though, that you were indeed right. One shall be extremely careful around wave pools.”


End file.
